Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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