no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
