fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
