My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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