is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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