she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
