My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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