JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
