To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
