what day is it and did you see me today?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
