the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
