someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
