please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
