I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
