I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
