woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm sobbing to NWA
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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