So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
