Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
