idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
