someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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