We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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