if you like me you must not know who I am
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
...so i touched it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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