I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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