I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
