To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Green mimosas i think yes
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
