: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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