something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
