My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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