I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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