Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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