I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
