Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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