I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish I only lived at night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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