Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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