hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Randomize
