I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
