Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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