it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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