okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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