ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
