who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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