hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
