He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
