I'm drive I can fine osifer
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
