Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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