why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
