So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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