I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
