I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
