@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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