11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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